You said move on, where do I go?

I know that I said that "I'm getting there" but it really really sucks that I could still find myself being affected of what happened.. Effin 9 months ago. 9 MONTHS!!!

I know there's this time that one should be very emotional when the one you love treated you bad. Especially when the factors why and how he did it is still around. I think that is very normal. But on my situation.. Why do I still find myself holding on to the past? Why?

All of the "factors" are gone. They are not classmates, they don't talk anymore (I know and I'm 100% sure), he's trying his best each day just to prove how much he loves me. That girl even has another guy now! 

At this point, I should not be thinking about it already. I could see things have changed and I even keep talking about that here. 

But why do I still see myself afraid of what could go wrong? I want to seize every moment with him. I want to just be happy and make the most out of this relationship. But how could I do that if I still can't let go of the past?