"The time you waste with him/her doesn't feel wasted"

Yup, it's true. Whenever I waste time for you, it surely doesn't feel wasted at all. 

So yeah, he told me to read this article. He sent me this on our 30th month. 

Didn't know he felt this way about us. Happy he's open enough of his feelings. :) 

http://elitedaily.com/dating/11-silly-ridiculous-signs-might-mean-youre-love/864846/

Celebrating my come back

These past 3 days have been really spontaneous! We were always out and all we did was eat, eat & eat. 

First we went to Moa and ate at Sbarro. It was my first time eating there and I've been wanting to eat there ever since. After, we roamed around MOA and bought absolutely nothing. So I decided to eat again! Hahaha. Crepe & creme's avocado crepe! Nomnom! I missed that so much, too. 

2nd day, we went to eat at my most favorite restaurant (or should I not say that) ever.. MANG INASAL!! Yes, we did. I've been craving for it since I started living in USA. Being able to eat there again was one of the happiest moments of my life. Hahaha! It may sound "oa" but it's true. I planned on eating just 2 rice but I ended up eating 3. Damn. Couldn't ever resist the goodness of that food. He knew it's my favorite so he understood. LOL. 

Last day, we were supposed to hang out with his family since it was his father's birthday but things changed on the last minute of the day. His parents needed to go at a christmas party and yes, the dinner was cancelled. I felt bad about it cause I waited the whole day. I actually stayed in Manila just for that dinner. But then he told me "I should've just go there instead" and I thought "why not? Then come here and let's eat out". And yes, WE DID! I've been wanting to eat at Yakimix for a very long time so I decided to eat there. It was really a "biglaan" dinner. Hahaha! We had fun though cause we really ate a lot. I went home to Laguna afterwards. Oh, I almost forgot to mention.. It was our 30th month that day. :)

I really had fun! I really missed having him around. The excitement of being with him ever since I came back is way different than before. 6 months was a long time for those in a relationship (try it and you'll know, haha) but I'm happy we made it. 

More fun days to come! Can't wait for our next adventures or should I say.. Eat outs! :) 

I'll see you

Can't believe I'm just days away til I see him again. I'm really excited about going home. I miss home, everything about it. But one of the best parts of it is seeing him again. It's been 6 months without him and I know for sure that by the time I see him, I will jump for joy and maybe, just maybe, cry tears of happiness. Hahaha! Hope not, though.

It's been 6 months. I miss all the kisses, hugs, cuddles, weirdness, everything!!! I miss being with someone who really does appreciate me (my weirdness & my weirdness). Yes, I can be pretty weird when I'm with him and I'm glad he accepts me for being like that. Oh, you don't want to imagine how weird I can get when i'm with him. Haha! Anyway, going back, I'm really excited! I'm actually proud of myself for being so strong. Back in the Philippines, it sucks for me not seeing him for a week. What's that, 7 days? Ugh. 

Honestly, this "long distance relationship" thought me a lot of things. It thought me how to be independent (in a relationship wise way). Meaning, I got to discover new things for myself. It thought me that it's not always a "we" (in a good way). I actually got to know myself better. My wants, my don't wants etc etc. Not to mention, I got to love myself more by means of fixing myself. I've always been the kind of person who doesn't really care about the way I dress and make-up when me and my friends go out. But weirdly, this ldr made me more conscious about how I look (yeah, I know it's sad that I'm just realizing this at this point of my life). It also thought me how to be contented with the simplest of efforts he does for me and it's pretty obvious what it is, it's the fact that he picks up his phone and texts me every single day. 

Lastly, made me realize that love can really wait. I never really expected that he will be able to wait for me for this long. It's not that I don't trust him about it, I just didn't want to expect things then come back crying. Now, I know it's safe to say that he actually waited for me. 

Enough of all this! End point is I'm excited to see you on December 9, Tuesday, 1:35PM. I'll see you! ☺️.

Maybe it's time

Sorry for being so negative when it comes to "us". 

Sorry for bringing you down and making you feel that I don't entrust you with my future. 

But I am.. I'm just afraid to put everything in my heart. 

I am afraid that all my feelings will just come to waste.

And it won't be worth it.

But since then, you always try to change for me. 

I realized, I'm unfair to you all this time. 

You always try to change. Well, me? I'm still on the same page. 

And I know for sure it's not healthy anymore.

So maybe it's time to change, too. 

Maybe it's time to think positive again when it comes to "us". 

Just like I used to do. 

Just like who I was before. 

10 questions

So.. Someone asked these questions to him for a project or something. And he sent me his answers. This is just so sweet. ❤️. 

1. How important is the relationship for you? 

This relationship is one of the most precious things that I have in my life right now and Im really grateful for having her in my life.

2. What does it feel to be in a long term commitment with someone?

It really feels great. Being with the one you truly love and being there for each other in the long run is the best feeling in the world.

3. What are the things you've learned from your long-term girlfriend/boyfriend?

I’ve learned that I’m incomplete without her. Not really dependent only on her but in the sense that knowing that you have a missing piece in her. I’ve learned that I have a lot of flaws but I also learned to be better and correct these things because of her.

4. Is it true that when you are in a long-term relationship, you really foresee a good future being with him/her?

Ofcourse, you won’t really make it wholeheartedly through a long term relationship without foreseeing a future with her. It’s really good to try to think about what’s gonna happen next and seeing myself with her until the end.

5. Have you ever planned for the future with your long-term girlfriend/boyfriend?

Yes! We open a lot of stuff about the future to one another. We plan about what we want our future lives to be.

6. How do you deal with conflicts?

We talk about it. A conflict will only be resolved completely with a really good talk. Also, we keep in mind that our relationship is always greater than our fight. We learned to resolve everything without having to let everything fall apart in our relationship.

7. What are your differences that made you grow stronger?

I guess I’m the type of person that is always an optimist and she is the type that is somewhat a pessimist. Having this combination in a relationship makes the talk about conflicts easier since we both have different perspective about a certain subject that we can share to each other.

8. What are your similarities that made you grow stronger?

We have similar likes and dislikes in a lot of things. And if not, we learn to like or try to do what the other person loves to do. I think this mentality made us really grow stronger.

9. What do you do to make this relationship last? How do you make him/her happy?

As I said, we always keep in mind that the relationship is always bigger than any fight that we would have. Everything is actually really easy when you really love someone. We don’t really spend much effort in “keeping the relationship” because with her, I just know everything falls in the right place. Just simple efforts to communicate each other and to talk to each other everyday is what I do to make her happy. Also, suprises and efforts to let her know that I love her is also valued by her.

10. What advice can you give to those who want to have a long-term relationship?

 

If you find the right person, never let her go. No matter what. Always keep her happy, always keep her safe. Always remember that your relationship is always worth saving. 

I will be the best girlfriend you've ever had

I’ll laugh at every joke you tell, even if it means I’d be the only one laughing with you. I’ll smile every time our eyes meet because these butterflies just won’t seem to leave. I’ll spend my Sundays with you, watching you jump in excitement as your favorite team scores. I’ll help you make dinner and feed it to you as long as you promise to help me clean afterwards. And if you want me there with you, I’ll watch every action/superhero movie with you as long as you’re willing to watch one chick flick with me. I’ll also have beer (or wine) with you while you talk about your day’s work. And when you’re sick, I’ll try my best to make you feel better with all the cuddling and sweet loving I can give.

As your girlfriend, I’ll give you your space. I’ll ask you how your day went—not out of routine, but out of curiosity, because I want to know which parts of your day made you smile and made you frown. As your girlfriend, I’ll make silly, annoying faces while you play video games just to see if you’ll notice (would that also make you move out of the same position you’ve been in for the past 3 hours?) I’ll also peel your Cuties for you while you complain about how small they are compared to oranges. I’ll surprise you on random occasions, and spoil you with sweet kisses and long hugs daily.

As your girlfriend, I promise to be loyal. Because at the end of the day, you’re the only one I want. I’ll be the one you can share your hopes, your dreams, and your fears. I’ll be your walking diary. I’ll be real, and I’ll promise to tell you how it is because you deserve nothing less. I’ll do my best to consider your thoughts and your feelings, and though I may not be able to fill in your size 12 shoes, I’ll try my damn hardest to walk in them first before I make my judgments.

As your girlfriend, I’ll yell, and I’ll cry. My insecurities and jealousy will eventually surface regardless of how hard I try to hide them. There’ll be times when I won’t make sense. And when I’m worried or confused, I’ll ask questions—lots of them. Sometimes, they’ll be long and stupid, so I’ll need you to be patient with me. I’ll give you long silences when I’m upset, and I’ll keep to myself when I’m not ready to talk to you. I’ll also make you mad—but since I won’t be able to read your mind, I’ll need you to tell me. And while we argue, I’ll work hard to consider your feelings and be fair.

As your girlfriend, I’ll treat you how I would want to be treated. I want to be all the good things to you, and though I know this can’t always be true, I’ll try my best to not be so bad. I can’t promise you I’ll be perfect, but as your girlfriend, I’ll do all I can to be the best one you’ve ever had.

1am

And if there will come a time that you realize I'm still not enough after and despite everything.. 

So be it. 

Sa totoo lang

Naiinis lang ako sa fact na hindi stable tong nararamdaman ko. Kumbaga sa tiwala, hindi talaga. Minsan feeling ko wala naman siyang gagawing masama, pero minsan feeling ko rin na meron. Alam mo yun? Wala yung stable time na "sus, hindi yan." "Alam ko namang di nya ako lolokohin." "Sure na ako sakanya." Kahit nga yung "love ako niyan." Hindi sya stable at hindi ako natutuwa dun. Naiinis ako kasi panget tong ganto eh. 

Nakakainis lang. Kasi ang panget ng gantong klaseng relationship sa totoo lang. Kumbaga, hindi to magwowork kung di ka naman talaga masyado nagtitiwala sa partner mo. 

Honestly, gusto ko magtiwala. Yan yung gusto kong choice. Sobra. Pero may naghoholdback eh. Malamang dahil to sa mga nagawa niya sakin. Ang hirap ng ganto. Yung wala kang sense of security sa partner mo. Kumbaga parang lagi ka nalang nagaabang na lolokohin ka. Parang imbis na yung good future yung inaabangan mo, parang yung bad yung nasa isip mo. Kumbaga hindi ka talaga secured. 

Kaya lang naman ako nagsstay pa kasi syempre, love ko yun. Tsaka alam mo yung feeling na "alam mong may mangyayari pang magagandang bagay at magiging worth it din lahat" feeling. Kahit nung hindi pa kami, yung mga araw na hindi sya palagi pinapayagan sa mga lakad, sinasabi ko na talaga sa sarili ko yan. Na darating din yung araw na magiging okay na.

Ang lungkot lang kasi ganto ang tingin ko sa rel namin. Parang nagaabang nalang talaga ako na lolokohin din niya ako sa huli. Sa totoo lang din kasi, hindi priority ang tingin ko sa sarili ko pagdating sakanya eh. Parang second highest priority lang. Lalo na ngayon nasa abucay sya. Ni good morning wala na. Ni effort lang ata na icheck yung phone nya wala eh. Alam mo yun, parang wala lang talaga. 

Pero ayun. Hindi naman porket eto ang tingin ko, eto na yung totoo eh. Pero ewan. Nakakainis lang kasi wala yung "stable feeling" ko. Feeling ko palagi, niloloko na ako. Hindi ako secured. Sobrang hindi. 

Hindi ko alam kung sino ba may problema samin, siya ba or ako. 

I just wonder

I don't want to be demanding.. But sometimes it makes me feel sad because somewhat, I think that he's not that proud of me. Well, that's how I see it.
I envy those posts of some couples in facebook where they really show the world how much they really love each other. Don't get me wrong, I don't like it when it's "too much". Just a simple "Imissyou or Ilove this girl so much" blah blah blah could make me smile. Cause for me, it's one sign that you're the only one for him. Because duh, he shows the world (or at least his) how much he do and he's not afraid of it. He's not that type of person who doesn't post anything at all. I can say that I always see him on my ig's home. But why not about me? Is it because he's not proud of having me around and he just posts if it's really about an event or something? Ugghh okay, now I sound demanding. But swear, I'm not. I'm just wondering and that's the only reason I have. I swear to God. :).

But of course, I won't tell him about this. This is not a big deal anyways. It's just sometimes, I want to feel that, too. For my boyfriemd, he just posts when it's our monthsary, anniversary. valentine's or if something came up. Never ever random.

I wonder how happy a girl can get when she sees a surprise post of her guy saying how much he loves her. Let's admit, there are quite a lot everywhere in social media. HAHA. Still the feeling's quite amazing for sure. But yeah, I think that will never really happen to me cause he's not that type of guy. Well, it's alright. It's been like this since 2010. It's okay.. really. I'm just wondering.

~

I don't appreciate you,

I am cold,

It's as if I don't care,

It's as if I don't wanna talk to you,

I say mean things to you,

I don't even say those 3 words anymore, 

I come up with this non-ending dramas asking you to leave

I always, always push you away,

But still.. You stayed. 

It is

"I don't like the memories because the tears come easily,

And once again I break my promise to myself for this day. 

It's a constant battle. 

A war between remembering and forgetting."

Terrified

I'm terrified of losing you,

because people grow tired of girls like me,

and sometimes, I build my walls so high

and push others away when I need them most. I can be stubborn, moody and sad a lot. 

I'm a mess, a handful. 

I'm fire, and when you play with fire you have to expect to be burned. 

But when I burned you, it's not because I don't love you. 

It's because I'm a girl who's still learning how to handle my blaze of emotions. 

Do you?

Do you have any idea

How much I wait every month

Just to hear you talk about how much you love me

But today, you chose not do it

And it hurts

But.. Okay. 

Long distance

I'm here in NY right now. I've been here a couple of weeks already. I'm working at Sagamore Resort. A very nice resort here in New York. :). This is the first time I've been away from my family and of course, him. 

I think we are handling this so called "long distance relationship" well. I could do things that I want and he could do his, too. We might always miss each other but it's what keeps us get stronger as each day passes. Well, that's how I see it. Honestly, on my side, I always miss him. But there's nothing I could do but just wait until these 6 months passed by. Good thing there's work and my closest friends are here for me to get my attention away from all those missing shits. 

Our usual "talking time" is always by the time I wake up. It's night time there and he's just sitting there on his couch, looking at his laptop. I can't believe I alarm earlier than the time I should really be awake just to talk to him. Well, I have no choice. Haha! He can't talk to me in the morning (in the Philippines). He's punctuality during mornings is boooo. 

At first, I really thought this would be so hard since this is the first time I'm gonna be away from him for a very long time. But no, it's not. And I really think it's good we're having this time apart. We're having time for ourselves. Best part, we're both interns. We could focus more on work and all these pre-graduation requirements. Other? Well.. We could both go home early. We could do all these "for lazy" things after work. We could play Lol whenever we want to. We could spend our weekend with other people. We could discover new things for ourselves. We could learn how to be a better person.. A better partner. 

By the time I go back, I really hope everything's still alright. Just like what I always imagine it to be. That when we see each other again, all we're gonna know is that we missed each other so much. 

And know that there's still a better future waiting for us. 

Most beautiful in his eyes

He told me to read this article.

It's such a nice feeling to know that he's sure about you. That whatever he reads somewhere, he thinks of you. It makes you believe more that this guy's serious about you. 

http://elitedaily.com/dating/gentlemen/when-you-find-the-right-person-shell-be-the-most-beautiful-girl-you-know/

Remember

When anything comes up, just fix it. 

Cause at the end of the day.. All you want is to be with each other..

For as long as you can. 

When will I be happy?

In an instant

We were flying high

Even birds can't soar

You held my hand

And we're on our way

We fly up above the mountains

We even touched the clouds

We saw reflections through waters

And I saw you by my side

As we go on, I crashed

You tried to save me

But for me, everything ran out

We go down and down

So there we are

Walking again on grass

I looked up to the sky

Give a little smile and said

"In an instant, I'm right here again."

- J. K. V. 

Wedding songs

I know it's still early but wedding songs keep entering my mind. Hahaha

Wedding video - Thousand Years pt. 2

First dance - Can I Have This Dance (with choreography) OR Thinking Out Loud

Aisle - Thousand Years (sungha Jung version)

Huhuhu. I just love these songs. ❤️. Hope one day I will be able to play these songs on my wedding day. ❤️.

#dreamer

She loves love letters

She loves long messages

She loves the sweetest words

She loves dedicated songs

She loves surprises

It does matter still

But not that much of a big deal

Cause what matters is

Someone who could love you

Even without all the words after "loves"

No doubts

My conscience whispered and I didn't listen. I know that I'm becoming very unfair to him as days and months passed. I keep on returning back the past that doesn't even exist in the present. But he understood me, he held me even when I'm mad at him for betraying me. He stayed with the new shitty me. 

As days passed, I tried to lessen these nonsense arguments about the past. It was harder than I thought but I know in my heart that this is the only way to fix everything. If I really want him in my life, I should learn to trust again. A relationship without trust will definitely not last long. 

Then one day, I realized that nonsense fights kept coming and the only root of these nonsense anger is again, about that past. I talked to a friend telling her that this shitty attitude of mine should stop. Honestly, I'm tired of all the little fights. I shoud learn to control my feelings and understand him more. And for him, he told me that everything has a reason and I shouldn't be assuming things that's not real. Not even close to that. 

That's when conscience bumped my head and I told myself "I will change my ways." And I promised. Promises are big deal for me the reason why this one.. I knew that I will take it seriously. Days passed and I tried to keep my cool. I didn't get mad whenever he does something that he didn't mean. And you know what? It's actually easy. I noticed that as I change, he changes with me. He became sweeter than I could ever imagine. He became more thoughtful of me. He became more attached and most important of all, he became someone who couldn't make me doubt anymore. That's what I loved the most in this whole thing. As a girl, I was full of doubts. But now, I could actually say that he loves me. He really does love me with all his heart. 

This feeling might be temporary or permanent. I don't know.. 

But I'm happy I'm feeling this right now. 

But I am convinced that all things end

Cheers to internship

So this week, his internship started. Ilang araw palang pero nafeel ko na yung difference. And yep, masyado na siyang busy these past few days. Halos hindi na kami nag-uusap. Of course may mga times na parang nalulungkot ako kasi hindi na gaya ng noon na chill chill lang siya. Pero thank God kasi andito sakin yung pag-iintindi ko. Although minsan, parang feeling ko hindi na kami nagcoconnect dahil sa "new world" niya eh masaya ako kasi gusto niya yung ginagawa niya. And I could see that he's really motivated. :). 

He's aiming for Cum Laude. And you know what? I really believe in him. He might be crazy sometimes for cramming or for bring lazy but I know deep deep in my heart that he could do it. Kahit may failure paminsan, eh alam kong hindi yun magiging hadlang para maging cum laude siya. I promise to myself that I will always be with him. Through ups and downs. Sa buong internship na yan. 

Just enjoy this year, ming. This is your year. Put everything on the table to make your PT dream come true. Not everyone could make it there and I know that you deserve being where you are now, ming. Don't ever let failures affect you. Make them as your insipiration to do better. Always remember that I believe in you and I know that you will be Cum Laude one day. And.. I promise to be there when you finally give your speech just like what you always wanted. :). 

Goodluck on your Internship! 

Make it legen-- wait for it, -- DARY! 

Your favorite, you said

Just this night, I remembered he told me before that "Kailan - MYMP" is one of his favorite OPM songs. So yep, I tried making a cover of it (na medyo fail). Hehehe. And I'm too lazy to repeat it all over again. One try is enough. Hahahaha!  

Bear with my pity voice. (￣▽￣)v. 

http://soundcloud.com/janminnie/kailan-mymp-janeeva-verceles

Kisses #random

I'm always the kind of person who doesn't want kisses in public places. I don't know, I'm just not comfortable with it. It's maybe because I get so easily irritated with PDA people. Hahaha!

But of course when we're alone, I want him kissing me (Medyo wrong ang sentence but oh well). Not basically on the lips.. on my cheeks or forehead will do. Hahaha. I find it really sweet when he kisses me on the forehead. It feels like he truly respects and cares for me. On the cheeks, well.. Typical. I don't get "kilig" that much when he does that. On my neck (ooops) hmmmm. Yep, it's good (you'll get me soon when it happens to you). It never fails to turn on a woman but good thing I can control my "feelings". Hahaha! Lastly, on the lips.. it's honestly my favorite. Maybe because I really love this guy. When he kiss me the world just stops. Hahaha. Wait, I think I'm being too cheesy already. Lol. But yes, kiss on the lips..

 It feels like I will never get used to it. ❤️

Pms attack

Here comes my monthly pms again. It sucks cause I keep starting an argument with him even if he (basically) didn't do something wrong. I'm a very sensitive person and it becomes x 10 higher when I'm on my pms. Gahhhh, I just can't control it! Huhuhu. 

I just want to say sorry for my messed up attitude. And yep, thank you for keeping up with me always. Starting from this moment on, I swear I'll try my best to control my emotions. Cause I know that these little arguments of ours will definitely not bring us anywhere nice. ><.  

3 shades of pink beautiful roses (3 days late post because of the shitty internet connection)

Yesterday, he gave me these 3 beautiful roses. These kind of moments are the ones I cherish most. It was really unexpected that's why it made me really happy. Hope he would surprise me more often. Hahaha. Just kidding. So yep, this was the first time I got really overwhelmed by flowers.

I realized it's a lot better to give them when it's not Valentine's day. Haha. :)

Excitement kills (2 days late post)

Ngayon andito lang ako sa bistro for a project. At medyo malungkot ako ngayon. Hahaha. Masama pala pag masyado kang naexcite sa isang bagay eh noh? Kadalasan talaga hindi natutuloy. Hahaha. Anyway, ayun nga. Kagabi palang sobrang excited na ako kasi lalabas at manonood kami sine nina Maine, Pat (her guy) at siya sana. Double date! Pero ayun, mga an hour ago, nalaman kong hindi siya matutuloy. Pinarinig niya sakin yung conversation nilang magkakapatid kay tita. Honestly, naawa ako kay tita at sobrang naiintindihan ko siya. Dun palang nafeel ko na na hindi na siya tuloy. I was thinking to hold him back from not going but I just let it go. Hindi nga naman talaga maganda sa feeling yung after ka sabihan ng magulang mo eh makukuha mo pang mag white lie. Haha. Ayuuun. 

So hindi parin siya talaga tuloy ngayon. Pero ayos lang, naiintindihan ko naman yun. Basta next time, bawal na maging sobrang excited! HAHAHA. 

Open when

So yep, I'm planning to give him something before my 6 months internship in New York.

Letter na mayrong mga "open when". Got this idea from 9gag. It may be common or what (I honestly don't know) but I really think it's a nice gift.

I'm going to write him 14 letters. Because that's my fav number. I'm gonna write it handwritten on the actual gift. So here it goes,
 

---------///------///------///------------

Open when.. You received your gift (NOW) 

Hi ming! This is my special gift for you. I know it's not that great. Haha. I'm not gonna be around for a while and you know that I'm not gonna be able to answer your texts or calls like I used to. That's why I prepared this for you. :). 

So here's the rule. You shouldn't be opening these letters  UNLESS you don't exactly feel that way. Madali lang intindihin to ming. :). Happy reading!!

1.) Open when.. You miss me

Awww you've been missing me, huh? Well Imissyoutoo! I always do, baby. Even when I do all these kitchen work here in Ny, I always think about you. But you know what? I'm not that depressed or something about it. Maybe a little, but not  that much because I know that as each day passes, it's getting nearer to the the day that we'll be seeing each other again. :). I can't wait for that day, ming! I just hope everything's still alright by the time I go back. :). So yep, Imissyoutoo ming! Don't be sad now, alright? I'll be back very soon. :). Iloveyou! <3.  

2.) Open when.. You need to know how much Iloveyou

Hindi pa ba obvious ming? Hahaha. Actually, words can't really describe how much I love you, ming. Pero kung ipipilit natin.. Well, iloveyou very much. You know that. I could wait a thousand years and find myself still wanting you. Haha. Too good to be true, right? Well that's what I feel. Iloveyouverymuch ming and don't get insecure or something sa mga lalake dyan. Para sakin, ikaw ang the best of all the best. :). Simula nameet kita, sarado na puso ko. Hindi pa nagiging tayo, loyal na ako sayo. Ikaw, hindi man naging ganon sakin, I accept you because I know you love me, too. Iloveyou! At wag na wag mong iisipin na hindi, okay? Iloveyou! <3. 

3.) Open when.. There are moods you just can't handle. 

It's okay, ming. Breathe in, breathe out. That's nothing. That's just temporary. Look, you'll be smiling after less than 5 minutes. Hahaha! Don't stress yourself too much! Hindi rin bagay sayo yang ganyan galit at wala sa mood. I've always known you being a happy go lucky guy and always positive. :). Just be who you are. Pero kung talagang masyado kang nasstress dyan sa pinagdadaanan mo ngayon, ilol mo nalang yan or ipokemon. Or you could talk to me if you want. I'm always ready to listen, ming. :). So yep, cheer up, now!!! Iloveyou! <3. 

4.) Open when.. You've forgotten how strong you are 

So you feel weak right now? Hey, that's not my Nigel. Everytime you fail, I know you always find a way how to get back up. Like on this relationship, you failed once, right? But you managed to get back up and proved to me how really strong you are. Ganon lang din gawin mo. Just be patient, baby. Yang mga pinagdadaanan mo ngayon, whether sa studies yan, sa family, sa friends or even sakin, I know you'll pass through it all. Don't forget to pray to God. I know that He wants you to know that whatever problems come your way, it's there for a reason. You'll always learn something from it ming. :). Wag na wag mo iisiping mahina ka kasi hindi, ming. You're the strongest person I know. You just know how to get back on the road again. Proven and tested. Iloveyou! <3. 

5.) Open when.. You're feeling down

Cheer up! Smile! Lilipas din yan ming. Don't be too hard on yourself. Let it go, let it go.. Can't hold it back anymoreee. Let it go, let it go~ Hahahaha. Let it go nalang ming. If you think you've done something wrong, than say sorry. There's nothing more meaningful than admitting your mistakes. :). But if you know you didn't do anything wrong, then relaaaax. You're fine, baby. :). Also if you feel down, don't hesitate to call me! Facetime tayo kahit nasa work ako. Hahahahaha. Chos. Pero ayun, you can always open up to me. Or better yet, don't make it a big deal nalang. Kilala kita, ganon ka naman talagang tao eh so wag mo hahayaan maging sagabal sayo yang problema mo ngayon o yang kinalulungkot mo. :). It's not the end of the world ming. Iloveyou! <3. 

6.) Open when.. We get into a big fight

You know I only get mad when you give me a reason to be so. Pero ayun, always remember that I just get into these fights because either I'm jealous or insecure or I feel that I am being ignored or rejected. I'm sorry. Sobrang sensitive ko rin kasi kaya nag-aaway tayo ng ganto. Pero ayun, don't ever think na gusto ko ng hiwalayan sa mga away natin ha! Tsssl. Kahit sinabi ko, wag. I'm sure hindi ko meant yun. I just said that out of anger or something. So yep, we'll be okay soon. I know. :). Iloveyou! <3.  

7.) Open when.. You are worried about me

Honestly? Well, I'm not that okay because I've been missing you a lot. Sana kasi may teleport nalang talaga eh. Kahit every night lang before ako matulog ikaw magteleport dito, okay na yun. Haha! Pero pwera dun, I'm okay! Dami lang work dito pero okay lang talaga ako. Sus, lilipas din ang panahon at malalagpasan din lahat to. XD. About sa feelings ko sayo, I know okay parin to. Strong parin. Hahaha. Hindi naman magbabago yun ming eh. :). So stop worrying about me alright? I'm just fine and I'll be coming back home soon! Iloveyou! <3. 

8.) Open when.. You feel like you're not handsome

Hey, now. Don't ever think about that! You don't need to feel like that cause you're a very handsome guy. For me, you're perfect, ming. :). Tsaka hindi mo kailangan mainsecure sa mga yun. Walang wala naman yun sa looks ming eh. Importante kung ano ka inside. :). Pero kahit anong mangyare, perfect ka parin talaga para sakin. Mapalooks man or ugali. Iloveyou! <3. 

9.) Open when.. You feel like giving up on us (I'm hoping you won't ever open this letter)

Hey. Why ming? Hmm. Maybe wala nga talagang forever sa mundong to. Na kahit gano pa karami yung mga pinagdaanan natin eh nagiging option parin talaga yan. Don't worry, I'm gonna be alright. Diba nga ineexpect ko na rin naman na mangyayari to? Diba nga alam mo naman na hindi na talaga ako naniniwala sa forever na yan. Haha. XD. If hindi mo pa sinasabi sakin, better tell me now ming. Walang mangyayari kung hindi ka magsasalita. Mas magiging masakit lang para sakin kung papatagalin mo pa. :). Don't be afraid. You know that I appreciate truth than sugar coated lies. :). Tell me now ming. Message me or something. It's okay, let it all out. Tell me you don't love me anymore. Tell me everything. :). 

10.) Open when.. It's our 2nd anniversary ! Wee!

Happy 2nd anniversary ming! Grabe, 2 years na tayo. I'm very happy because someone stayed with me for this long. Never ko naisip na may magmamahal sakin ng ganto katagal. :). Thank you for everything ming! Thank you for making me happy whether you know it or not. Hehehe. Thank you for always keeping up with me. Medyo mahirap kaya ako mahalin ming. Kasi sobrang sensitive and paranoid ko. I'm sorry for that ming. But believe me, I'm always trying to change. Para rin hindi na tayo palagi nag-aaway. :)). Hm. I hope for more years for us ming! Gusto ko aabot tayo ng 10 years!!! Hahaha. 10 years muna para hindi ka malula. XD. Always know that Iloveyouverymuch and I'll try to stay with you for as long as I can. :). Hindi man tayo magkasama sa 2nd anniversary natin, masaya parin ako kasi alam ko na andyan lang naman ako sa <3 mo. And ikaw, palagi ka lang din andito. :). Iloveyou! <3. 

11.) Open when.. Stressed ka na sa Internship mo. 

There's always a reason why things get rough ming. Wag ka panghinaan ng loob about sa pagiging intern. You're stronger than you know. If you think gumagapang ka sa pagiging intern mo then take action para mag improve ka. Focus lang ming. Kung kaya, mag-aral ka. Discover new things that will help you get through. Wag mong hayaan na diyan ka lang. Always go an extra mile. Or better yet, wag mo nalang masyado isipin kasi lalo ka lamg talaga masstress niyan. Itulog o ikain mo nalang yan ming! Hahaha! Gaya nga ng parati kong sinasabi, lilipas din yan. :). And.. Don't forget to pray. I swear mas nakakagaan sa pakiramdam yun. You can always talk to Him ming. :). Atsaka wag ka mag-alala ming, onting push nalang ggraduate ka na rin naman. Don't give up. :). Atsaka nakasupport lang naman palagi family mo para sayo. Gawin mo silang inspiration ming. Sila nga kaya magwork hard para sainyo diba? Edi ikaw din, kaya mo rin yan. :). Konti nalang ming graduate ka na! Push lang! Iloveyou! <3. 

12.) Open when.. You achieved something legen-- wait for it, --DARY!

Congrats ming! You deserve it! If about lol yan, well.. Magaling ka naman talaga ming. Para sakin eh LoL lord ka talaga. Hahaha. Naka abot ka na ba ng challenger? Kung oo, woow. Nakakabelib   . Galing galing ng ming ko. XD. Pero kung about naman yan sa internship mo.. Ganon rin, super congrats! Kelangan mo ko ilibre pag nakauwi ako ha!? Tsaka ayun, your cs once told me na magaling ka naman talaga ming pagdating sa internship mo. Sabi niya sakin, masipag ka raw tsaka magaling talaga. Syempre as a girlfriend, naging proud ako dun. :). Pero ayun, kung about sa ibang bagay pa yan, hahahaha. Well I'm happy you're happy. XD. Iloveyou! <3. 

13.) Open when.. It's our monthsary. :)

Happy xx month, Ming! Ekis man yang numbers na yan, pero alam kong matagal na tayo. We've come a long way and I'm proud of it. Habang mas tumatagal tayo, mas lalo akong naniniwala ulit sa forever. Na baka nga may ganon pa. :). Happy monthsary baby! Iloveyou! <3.

14.) Open when.. I'm on my way home. 

All I want to say is that.. I'm really really really excited to see you Ming!!!! After al these months, masaya akong makikita ko ulit yung love ko. :). Iloveyou! <3. 

100 things

100 Things That I Want To Do In My Lifetime

Wrote this two years ago (i guess). Hehe. Happy that i've actually did some of it already. ❤️ well for the others, hahahaha. Who knows maybe one day. :). (except with the flying part of course)

1.) Go to another country with my family. Yes, I have never experienced that. 

2.) Play Table Tennis with my friends. I miss playing that sport!

3.) Watch the sunset with my love one. I have never seen the beautiful scenery of sunset in my life.

4.) Make my parents happy, always. By the time they grow old, I want to be there for them and make them feel that I’m their daughter no matter what.

 

5.) Go to many places with my boyfriend! I’ve always wanted to share new experiences with him.

6.) Have a pet cat. A Persian or a Siamese cat will do.

7.) Late night walks in Tagaytay. 

8.) Be a Chef and cook for my family and love ones. I want to hear them say that my food was good! (HAHAHA)

9.) Dance like there’s no tomorrow. Sometimes, I just want to stay alone in a dance studio and choreograph my own moves. That would be fun.

10.) Bring out my singing “skills” in public. I can sing too, but not as good as my twin sister for sure.

11.) Zip Line. I’ve tried that once and I want to try it again! It’s fun!

12.) Eat Bacsilog ALL DAY, literally. One of my favourite foods on earth!

13.) Eat at Mang Inasal in one week every lunch time. I can pretty much live with that because it’s one of my favourite foods too.

 

14.) Go to Korea. I’m a huge kpop fan and I want to see my biases there.  ( biases - term for your favourite kpop artists)

15.) Fill up my bed with stuff toys. I may be eighteen but my heart will always be just like a six-year-old when it comes to stuff toys. :3

16.) Conquer my fear in Injections, but it seems I’m also afraid of doing that. 

17.) Play jack stones with my friends. HAHA. I know it sounds childish but I love that game!

18.) HS Reunion. I really miss my high school friends.

19.) Random phone calls with my boyfriend just to say hi and ask how each other’s days are. 

20.) Go to Singapore! I always wanted to go there because of its respectful environment.

21.) Save money for the poor. I’m the kind of person who can’t stand poor people asking for money, especially when they’re old. 

 

22.) Worship God every Sunday with my family. I miss those days. 

23.) Carnival Date. Since I was a kid I really wanted to experience one. That’s the reason why my boyfriend and I already talked about what to do on out first anniversary.. EK! <3

24.) Ride a horse in Baguio. When I was a kid, I really liked horses!

25.) Overnight with my best friends in the world (High school, College, Kpop).

26.) Represent my college on something I’m good at. I want people to know my worth somehow. :D

27.) Play volleyball with my high school co-varsities. I miss playing volleyball! I don’t even know if I can still serve and toss. HAHA.

28.) Dance with my sisters on stage. I really admire the fact that my sisters and I share the same interest in dancing.

29.) Have a walkathon from lrt Baclaran station to Monumento with my Appa. We always wanted to do that.

30.) Watch movies with my boyfriend all day.  My father’s a collector of DVDs. That should do.

31.) Have my own room. Everything will be colour PINK for sure. HAHA.

32.) Joyride with my college friends and drive to different provinces! 

33.) Make an Egg Sandwich with my Appa and eat it together. We always wanted to do due to schedule conflicts, we still couldn’t.

34.) Sleep 24 hours straight if possible. I’m a certified bed lover. 

35.) Date with my Parents. I want to see them talk again. The last time they talked, I was still a toddler. 

36.) Have a perfect marriage. I always wanted to be on a beautiful wedding dress and feel that it’s my day. <3 

37.) Photo shoot.  I’m not that pretty but I wanted to have one.

38.) Be a famous freestyle dancer. I wanted to be the kind of dancer who can dance with no scripted moves.

39.) Write essays that will be published in newspapers that could be seen by many people. When I was in high school, I was really into writing.

40.) Holiday vacation in Batangas City. That’s where our favourite cousin lives. 

41.) Shopping with Daddy and my sisters. Daddy never tipids when it comes to our clothing and other needs.

42.) Have a music video together with my twin sister. HAHA

43.) Kiss in the rain. I just see that in movies and I wanted to experience that because for me, it’s sweet. 

44.) Eat expensive doughnuts. I believe the expensive ones are the best ones.

45.) Club party with my college friends. They are really fun to be with when it comes to clubs! 

46.) Be a perfect mother for my future children. 

47.) Have my own house and lot. I know things will not be that difficult if you have your own house.

48.) Go to Paris with my sister, Danice. She always wanted to go there and I want to be the first person to see her smile once that happened.

49.) Be surprised. I love surprises from my loved ones!

50.) Ice skating with my boyfriend’s family! Almost all of them haven’t experienced ice skating and I want to be there by the time they do.

51.) Watch atleast 300-500 movies before I die. Yes, I love watching movies!

52.) Surprise a friend when its his/her birthday. I’ve always wanted to see the smile in his/her face when I did! 

53.) Eliminate snatchers all over the Philippines. They are the reason why parents are strict on night outs.

54.) Experience the No Lights Day. I want to see all the earth’s light out and look up the sky to see the stars. <3

55.) Have my own restaurant with my original menu. I want people to eat my dish and love it!

56.) Graduate in CSB. I’m sure that would make my parents proud.

57.) Have my own car. It’s convenient, safe and I can go to any place I want! I always wanted to travel to faraway places with my boyfriend.

58.) Draw. When I was a kid, I really have a passion for drawing and I want to try it out again.

59.) Have an Iphone 5. I own an iphone 4 right now and I want to upgrade it to an iphone 5. More apps for me!

60.) Be a leader. Since then, I really don’t have the potential of being a leader. I wonder how it feels like when I did.

61.) Cuddle under the stars. Again, I just see these scenarios on movies and I wanted to experience one someday. I know it would be fun.

62.) Have a full body massage after Gym. Surely one of the best feelings ever.

63.) Eat to all branches of Mang Inasal! Food trip all the way!

64.) Watch “Titanic” in a theatre. That would be more realistic and emotional for sure.

65.) Read the “Hunger Games” book. I found the movie very nice and I know the book is even nicer.

66.) Go to Hong Kong Disneyland with my family. We’ve been planning for that for how many years now.

67.) OJT in New York for 6 months. Since I enrolled in Benilde and got oriented about that New York thing, it never left my mind and set to pursue it as a Culinary Arts student.

68.) Renovate my own room. I wanted to design my own room someday.

69.) Try to eat at least 10 exotic foods from our country. That would be fun!

70.) Try at least 1 food specialty of all the countries in the world. I would like to try to eat different cuisines.

71.) Watch my all-time favourite movies in one day. I want to bring back memories.

72.) Teach young children how to cook. When I finished pursuing my dream as a chef, I will share my knowledge to young minds.

73.) Be a choreographer of any dance troupe. I want to share my own moves and styles in dancing.

74.) Have an eye laser for better eyesight. I’m just too tired of wearing contact lenses already.

75.) Have good grades all throughout my college life. I want to make my parents proud by showing them how high my grades are!

76.) Have a business that would really help my family though I’m just a teenager. I want to help them as soon as possible so that they could rest already.

77.) Buy myself the nicest pair of wedges! I’ve always wanted a very high, pink wedge.

78.) Finish a cross stitch all by myself. It’s hard work but it’s totally worth it!

79.) Do not eat for one day and eat as many as I can the other day. HAHA. I know it’s not healthy.

80.) Take silly pictures with my friends and have the guts to post it on facebook! Friends are still your craziest companions in this world. <3

81.) Finish this assignment. It’s making me crazy.

82.) Actually see a shooting star and wish for something that will come true the other day. That would be awesome!

83.) Debut party again. Me and my twin sister's debut is one of the most unforgettable event of our lives.

84.) Have a pet dog. Either a Pomeranian or a shiatsu.

 

85.) Make ELFinity recognized by our idols, Super Junior. 

86.) Withstand 100 flying cockroaches inside a glass box within 10minutes. I am really afraid of flying cockroaches.

87.) Withstand butterflies inside our house. Sometimes, butterflies just came in our house and I want not to scream or panic. I know they are good creatures. 

88.) Heart to heart talk with myself.

 

89.) Clean the entire house all by myself. I am a clean addict and doing that will help me feel relaxed.

90.) Laugh all day long with my friends. Laughter is the best medicine for a broken or worried heart.

91.) Attend a prayer meeting and lead. That would make me a more confident person.

92.) Sing in church once again. I realy miss worshipping God.

93.) Be a model of facial product  because many says that my skin is fair. HAHA.

94.) Swim in an infinity pool for one day. I would like to stay and look at the view and daydream about many things.

95.) Tricycle ride from Laguna to Batangas City. That would be very windy, but fun!

96.) Try to drink sleeping pills for long hours of sleep. HAHA. I’m sleep addict, remember?

97.) This is not realistic but I want to be able to fly someday, like a bird. I wonder how it feels like to see the view from above.

98.) Enchanted Kingdom with my closest friends on earth! 

99.) Bungee Jump from the highest mountain ever! That would be super awesome!

100.) Be with God, my family, and my friends always.

Something on valentines day

I'm planning to give him something for valentines day. 

I'm still thinking about it cause I guess it's a little hard. I know i should've given it to him few months ago but I just can't. Well I mean whole-heartedly. 

These past few days, because of my shitty pre-period hormones, I tend to always make a fight with him for stupid reasons. So stupid that I even hate myself after those fights. Mostly, trust issues. Yep, I could see that he always tries to understand me no matter what and I love him even more for that. He even says "sorry" even if I'm the one who should've said it. That's why I think it's not bad to give it a try. And yes, I really think he deserves this.

And that's a big portion of my TRUST. 

I will try my very best to control my feelings and emotions. I'll trust you even more ming. I promise I will do my best. I'm not going to complain or anything. I'll make a pact for you. 

Hope you'll li-- hope you'll feel it. Happy valentines. ❤️

Just photos

Recent photos. 

I just find it amazing how often we see each other these past few weeks. ☺️

Must be noted

6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal

There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.

But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines.

Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error.

But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities. Men and women are raised to objectify each other and to objectify the relationships they’re in. Thus our partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.

A lot of the self help literature out there isn’t helpful either (no, men and women are not from different planets, you over-generalizing prick). And for most of us, mom and dad surely weren’t the best examples either.

Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into healthy and happy relationships the past few decades and there are some general principles that keep popping up consistently that most people are unaware of or don’t follow. In fact, some of these principles actually go against what is traditionally considered “romantic” or normal in a relationship.

Below are six of the most common tendencies in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear. Get the tissues ready.

1. The Relationship Scorecard

What It Is: The “keeping score” phenomenon is when someone you’re dating continues to blame you for past mistakes you made in the relationship. If both people in the relationship do this it devolves into what I call “the relationship scorecard,” where it becomes a battle to see who has screwed up the most over the months or years, and therefore who owes the other one more.

You were an asshole at Cynthia’s 28th birthday party back in 2010 and it has proceeded to ruin your life ever since. Why? Because there’s not a week that goes by that you’re not reminded of it. But that’s OK, because that time you caught her sending flirtatious text messages to her co-worker immediately removes her right to get jealous, so it’s kind of even, right?

Wrong.

Why It’s Toxic: The relationship scorecard develops over time because one or both people in a relationship use past wrongdoings in order to try and justify current righteousness. This is a double-whammy of suckage. Not only are you deflecting the current issue itself, but you’re ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling wrong in the present.

If this goes on long enough, both partners eventually spend most of their energy trying to prove that they’re less culpable than the other rather than solving the current problem. People spend all of their time trying to be less wrong for each other instead of being more right for each other.

What You Should Do Instead: Deal with issues individually unless they are legitimately connected. If someone habitually cheats, then that’s obviously a recurring problem. But the fact that she embarrassed you in 2010 and now she got sad and ignored you today in 2013 have nothing to do with each other, so don’t bring it up.

You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. If you don’t accept those, then ultimately, you are not accepting them. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.

2. Dropping “Hints” and Other Passive-Aggression

What It Is: Instead of stating a desire or thought overtly, your partner tries to nudge you in the right direction of figuring it out yourself. Instead of saying what’s actually upsetting you, you find small and petty ways to piss your partner off so you’ll then feel justified in complaining to them.

Why It’s Toxic: Because it shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. A person will never feel a need to drop “hints” if they feel like they won’t be judged or criticized for it.

What You Should Do Instead: State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. If they love you, they’ll almost always be able to give it.

3. Holding the Relationship Hostage

What It Is: When one person has a simple criticism or complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. For instance, if someone feels like you’ve been cold to them, instead of saying, “I feel like you’re being cold sometimes,” they will say, “I can’t date someone who is cold to me all of the time.”

Why It’s Toxic: It’s emotional blackmail and it creates tons of unnecessary drama. Every minor hiccup in the flow of the relationship results in a perceived commitment crisis. It’s crucial for both people in a relationship to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be communicated safely to one another without it threatening the relationship itself. Otherwise people will suppress their true thoughts and feelings which leads to an environment of distrust and manipulation.

What You Should Do Instead: It’s fine to get upset at your partner or to not like something about them. That’s called being a normal human being. But understand that committing to a person and always liking a person are not the same thing. One can be committed to someone and not like everything about them. One can be eternally devoted to someone yet actually be annoyed or angered by their partner at times. On the contrary, two partners who are capable of communicating feedback and criticism towards one another only without judgment or blackmail will strengthen their commitment to one another in the long-run.

4. Blaming Your Partner For Your Own Emotions

What It Is: Let’s say you’re having a crappy day and your partner isn’t exactly being super sympathetic or supportive at the moment. They’ve been on the phone all day with some people from work. They got distracted when you hugged them. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.

So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. You’ve been having a shitty day and they have done nothing about it. Sure, you never asked, but they should just know to make you feel better. They should have gotten off the phone and ditched their plans based on your lousy emotional state.

Why It’s Toxic: Blaming our partners for our emotions is a subtle form of selfishness, and a classic example of the poor maintenance of personal boundaries. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), then will develop codependent tendencies. Suddenly, they’re not allowed to plan activities without checking with you first. All activities at home — even the mundane such as reading books or watching TV — must be negotiated and compromised. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.

The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment. Sure, if my girlfriend gets mad at me once because she’s had a shitty day and is frustrated and needs attention, that’s understandable. But if it becomes an expectation that my life revolves around her emotional well-being at all times, then I’m soon going to become very bitter and even manipulative towards her feelings and desires.

What You Should Do Instead: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner. Any sacrifices should be made as an autonomous choice and not seen as an expectation. As soon as both people in a relationship become culpable for each other’s moods and downswings, it gives them both incentives to hide their true feelings and manipulate one another.

5. Displays of “Loving” Jealousy

What It Is: Getting pissed off when your partner talks, flirts, touches, calls, texts, hangs out, or sneezes in the general vicinity of another person and then you proceed to take that anger out on your partner and attempt to control their behavior. This often leads to insano behaviors such as hacking into your partner’s email account, looking through their text messages while they’re in the shower or even following them around town and showing up unannounced when they’re not expecting you.

Why It’s Toxic: It surprises me that some people describe this as some sort of display of affection. They figure that if their partner wasn’t jealous then that would somehow mean that they weren’t loved by them.

This is absolutely clownshit crazy to me. It’s controlling and manipulative. It creates unnecessary drama and fighting. It transmits a message of a lack of trust in the other person. And to be honest, it’s demeaning. If my girlfriend cannot trust me to be around other attractive women by myself, then it implies that she believes that I’m either a) a liar, or b) incapable of controlling my impulses. In either case, that’s a woman I do not want to be dating.

What You Should Do Instead: Trust your partner. It’s a radical idea, I know. Some jealousy is natural. But excessive jealousy and controlling behaviors towards your partner are signs of your own feelings of unworthiness and you should learn to deal with them and not force them onto those close to you. Because otherwise you are only going to eventually push that person away.

6. Buying the Solutions to Relationship Problems

What It Is: Any time a major conflict or issue comes up in the relationship, instead of solving it, one covers it up with the excitement and good feelings that come with buying something nice or going on a trip somewhere.

My parents were experts at this one. And it got them real far: a big fat divorce and 15 years of hardly speaking to each other since. They have both since independently told me that this was the primary problem in their marriage: continuously covering up their real issues with superficial pleasures.

Why It’s Toxic: Not only does it brush the real problem under the rug (where it will always re-emerge from even worse the next time), but it sets an unhealthy precedent within the relationship. This is not a gender-specific problem, but I will use the traditional gendered situation as an example. Let’s imagine that whenever a woman gets angry at her boyfriend/husband, the man “solves” the issue by buying the woman something nice, or taking her to a nice restaurant or something. Not only does this give the woman unconscious incentive to find more reasons to be upset with the man, but it also gives the man absolutely no incentive to actually be accountable for the problems in the relationship. So what do you end up with? A checked-out husband who feels like an ATM, and an incessantly bitter woman who feels unheard.

What You Should Do Instead: Actually, you know, deal with the problem. Trust was broken? Talk about what it will take to rebuild it. Someone feels ignored or unappreciated? Talk about ways to restore those feelings of appreciation. Communicate!

There’s nothing wrong with doing nice things for a significant other after a fight to show solidarity and to reaffirm commitment. But one should never use gifts or fancy things to replace dealing with the underlying emotional issues. Gifts and trips are called luxuries for a reason, you only get to appreciate them when everything else is already good. If you use them to cover up your problems, then you will find yourself with a much bigger problem down the line.

Credits to the writer. 

 

:)

I finally started believing that I should let go of things I cannot change. I've started to realize that no matter what I do, it has been done and it can never be changed ever again no matter how I've always wanted to. I guess I have done my job to make him feel that I was hurt, really hurt. He has been through every hardship and consequences I could go him through.  I became very sensitive, moody, demanding, selfish, gahhh every bad attitude of a girlfriend yet he's still here fighting for me, for us. 

Yes, the pain may never be gone but there's also one thing that no one could ever take away from me.. And that is my faith. Even though it all happened, my faith's still here believing that one day, I will be happy. 

I think it's time set things right now and forget the past. It's been done, and I know that all I have to do is accept it.. And move on. 

I'm sorry

Magkasama kami ngayon. Umoorder sya ng kakainin namin. Bago sya umorder medyo malalim napagusapan namin. Basta sabi niya "Wag mo naman ipamuka sakin na wala kang tiwala sakin." "Eh para pag totoo nga, edi hindi ako talo." "Eh pano kung hindi naman talaga, tingin mo anong maffeel ko?"

Sa totoo lang.. Out of fear nalang talaga kung bakit hanggang ngayon eh pinapakita ko parin sakanya yung bad sides ko. I'm sorry ming kung ganon. Sobrang sorry. May tiwala ako sayo ming. Kung alam mo lang. Sa sobrang tiwala ko sayo, natatakot ako na baka masira mo na naman. Kaya ganto ako mag-act. Atsaka magkakaron lang kasi talaga ako ngayon. Haha. Anyway, I'm sorry. I trust you ming. Sadyang pinoprotektahan ko lang sarili ko. I'll try to lessen it. Iloveyou. Alam kong alam mo yan. 

Stop

Stop thinking about it;

For it will just destroy you

Stop talking about it;

For it will just bring you down

Stop arguing about it:

For it will just let your bad side out

Stop clinging to the past;

For it will not make the new you

Stop, just stop;

For it will not do any good to you. 

Not a little, none at all.