Give up.. Or try harder?

And something mad happened again.

It hurts. Of course, it does. Will not mention exactly what happened because just by typing it here, I will burst to tears again. I know.

Right now, well we're fine. We're not breaking up or something. But God, please tell me.. Is this the right thing? Is this what you want me to do? I'm badly hurt right now because I honestly didn't expect any of these along the way. Infatuation, that I can handle. It passed already, got used to it. But facts kept coming and It's over the line already. It's something that not every girl would want. Ever.

But God.. I still chose to stay even if it hurts like hell. I feel so stupid and pathetic loving him. Is this still worth it, God? If this relationship continues, will I still be happy in the end? Cause if not, please let my feelings go. If this relationship will not be right after all, I want You to reset my feelings and open my heart to someone who truly deserves it.

Give up.. Or try harder?

I wanna give up because of the fact that those cruel things happened. Just by thinking that it HAPPENED.. My mind tells me that "you've had enough"

But what holds me back on giving up is the foundation that we built. It's still here in my heart, all of it. How he got me, how I fell inlove with him and how he made me happy. Those things.. I can't throw it all away just like that. I simply can't.

Right now.. I honestly don't know what's the right thing to do. A part of me tells me to let go, the other part tells me to hold on cause it's still worth it.

I'm lost.